It's pretty refreshing to hear from someone who is actually concerned about his employer and about behaving in a way that shows personal integrity and accountability. You are right on both counts — you do have a responsibility to your employer and you do have a responsibility to yourself. It's not an easy choice you are facing, but with some serious consideration, we think you will be able to make the right decision and honor both yourself and your employer.
Let's start with your current employer. Two points.
- You're frustrated with the direction of the company and the management. Are there any factors that might change that picture in the short to mid-term? If so, will the change be significant enough to warrant your staying put and allow you to overcome your feelings of frustration? If not, then chances are good your frustration will continue to grow over time and your dissatisfaction will become too great to allow you to stay, regardless of the timing of any one project. In other words, the handwriting is on the wall.
- Is there anyone on your team that would be able to step up to the position of leadership you now fill, if they knew it was coming down the pike (sooner rather than later)? If you felt you could rely on someone else to keep the project from becoming derailed or slowed significantly, would you feel better about pursuing other options? If you were to consider another opportunity, could you put off starting the new job long enough for the project to transfer leadership (somewhat) smoothly?
Now, on to the "new" job. Have you actually interviewed for this job? It's not clear from what you've written if you are already a viable candidate for this job or if it's just something you think you'd like to pursue. If you haven't interviewed, then you should take steps to line up an interview. Without significantly more information about the reality of this new job, it will be impossible for you to know if it's really the right thing for you and whether the benefits of moving into a new company/job will outweigh leaving your current position at this time and perhaps cause your current employer difficulty with the timing/completion of the project. There is no harm in interviewing — it might actually be a good thing — as it may clarify some of the ambiguity you feel. Additionally, you need to find out if the new company is interested in you — perhaps they won't think there's a good fit between the two of you.
As for your obligations and instincts, we think you should honor both the best way you can. Unless you have a legal obligation to see this project through, you don't have to stay. People face this kind of situation all the time and some don't feel any compunction about leaving when a better opportunity presents itself. Some, like yourself, do feel a moral obligation and hate the thought of leaving unfinished business. As for being branded someone who can't be counted on; we don't think so. We live in a world of change and most employers, while disappointed at your leaving, would understand why you've taken another (maybe better) job. However, you must first be offered another job or else this becomes just an academic exercise for you.
One possible way to resolve this is to ask yourself some questions:
Will you feel good about yourself if you walk away and leave your current employer in the lurch (if that is in fact what you are really doing — could your assessment of your contribution be magnified somewhat)?
If you stay, will you feel good in six months or one year if your unhappiness and frustration aren't dealt with somehow?
If you pass on this opportunity, will another like it come along again?
Can you make this change and still feel that you have been fair to your employer?
Finally, ask yourself:
We hope these questions will help you to focus on what you should do — somewhere the answer already lies inside of you and will come to the surface. Best of luck to you.