I was told that I'm being transferred to another department and the department head invited my spouse and me to dinner to get to know us better. I'm concerned since my spouse is extremely shy and doesn't like social functions. I could make excuses and not bring my spouse, but I think this wouldn't look good. I don't want my spouse to just sit there and be uncomfortable either. What should I do?
While this is clearly not a typical hiring interview since you're already employed with the company, you'd be wise to treat it as such since making a good impression on your new boss will be important to your future. Leaving your spouse out of the equation isn't the way to go. Your new boss is clearly interested in meeting your spouse or wouldn't have asked to include him or her. We think your best bet is to tell your spouse how important it is for your career to attend this dinner. The two of you should sit down ahead of time and come up with several topics for conversation that your spouse might feel comfortable broaching. Tell your spouse what you know about the new boss to help relieve some of the anxiety, and pick a restaurant that you both like and have visited before to bring some familiarity to the situation. It's hard for a shy person to feel comfortable at social functions, so have patience and understanding about his or her feelings. Read "Shyness: A Bold New Approach" by Bernardo J. Carducci and Susan Golant (Perennial, 2000) for tips that might help your spouse deal with the shyness.