I work closely with another person — we're a team responsible for our work together. I'm a generous sort and my partner takes advantage of this. I do over 70% of the work, while she does only the rest. I've tried to raise this issue with her several times in a pleasant way, but I'm getting nowhere. I hate to report to my boss about this problem — that's not my style. Is there an alternative?
It's fair to say that you have a problem that will grow in size the longer you let it continue. When a person feels taken advantage of, resentment grows and a good attitude and work ethic are bound to deteriorate, whether or not you want it to. You must immediately take steps to define and remedy the problem. Even though you're generous, it's not reasonable for you to do 70% of the job, assuming you're compensated equally.
Try this tack: For the next project or task assigned to you and your co-worker, make a list of all the steps necessary to finish it. Explain what's involved in getting the job done so that it will be clear to you and your partner, as well as your boss, if you need to bring him or her in as an objective observer. Then sit down with your partner and explain that you're uncomfortable with the structure of your working relationship and feel that the workload isn't distributed evenly. If you present a logical case using concrete examples from your past experience, you can keep the conversation from turning negative. Next, work together to determine which tasks each of you will do on the next project, dividing them fairly so that you'll both be spending roughly the same time and energy on finishing the job.
This strategy initially may seem like a juvenile approach. However, it may help turn the tide and make sure the workload is distributed fairly, as it will be apparent immediately if either of you doesn't perform as agreed. If you do this for a couple of months and it works, you may find that you're able to dispense with the process and verbally agree on the work. You also may find the process helpful in other ways such as organizing and giving structure to your and your partner's workday.
If your partner won't agree to this kind of accountability, you have two options. You either can make your boss aware of the situation to help remedy it or continue letting your co-worker take advantage of you. Our experience tells us that when someone figures out they can take advantage of another, they'll continue to do it. If your personality doesn't allow you to take charge of this situation, you must go to your boss and outline, again, with concrete examples, how you need things to be different. Try not to criticize your partner, but explain that you need a more detailed arrangement of each of your responsibilities. Your boss then can work with you and your partner to make sure work is distributed more equitably and that a quantitative method judges each person's contribution.