I read your column last week and was intrigued by what Jon from Paris said about never receiving feedback or indication about his performance. I'm in the opposite situation. My boss seems to compliment me on everything I do. It's getting hard for me to determine if he's sincere. Is there anything I can do?
Your situation is rather uncommon. Few people ever experience what you've described. Our guess is that about 1% to 2% of employees ever feel their work is acknowledged too much. We're not saying this to minimize your feelings, but to let you know how unusual it is.
That said, yours is a good example of why either extreme -- never getting feedback or receiving it every day -- doesn't help make employees feel secure. When every task done is praised, it becomes difficult to gauge the sincerity of the compliment and if the deed actually was worthy of notice and admiration. When that happens, most people are unable to determine if what they've done is exceptional enough to merit such attention. When they feel it isn't, they tune out and become suspect of any praise offered. They begin to question the motives or intent of the praise and often begin to feel suspicious or distrustful of the person giving it. It's far more helpful to know what areas you truly excel in and which ones could use improvement. It's only in this way that a true sense of pride in your work can be developed.
You may not be able to do much about your situation since you aren't in control of your boss's behavior. We suggest trying to talk with your boss since he or she is clearly appreciative of your work. Propose having praises reserved for your most worthwhile achievements to help you better know when your work is above expectations. Since your boss strives to compliment subordinates, we bet his or her personality will be open to this kind of request. You might offer to write up a monthly summary of your key achievements and list your boss's feedback to each, as a way to show that specific comments end up being more meaningful than compliments given too often and freely.
We think the straightforward approach is best, but if you feel you just can't do it, try leaving a copy of "Be the Boss Your Employees Deserve" by Ken Lloyd (Career Press, 2002) on your boss's desk anonymously with the hope that he or she might read it and glean some tips from it. Without direction from you, however, your boss won't know where improvement is needed and might wonder why someone would leave this book.